Yesterday I cried a lot again. I miss him. I just want to have a conversation with him in skype. Again. But his body is buried and I will never hug him again. It hurts. I will never see him again. 
I want to scream, I want to kill somebody. 
I’m so afraid that I’ll forget him. I’m so afraid. Because I will never see him again. He was 18 years old… He was a boy, not a man. 
My life will never be the same. Why did you leave me? Why?

Oh, Death, 
Well I am Death, none can excel, 
I’ll open the door to heaven or hell. 

Oh, Death, оh Death, 
my name is Death and the end is here…

Anonymous

My condolences. I lost a friend in a car crash about a year ago. It was very rough but in the end I at least got by thinking how lucky I was to know her even for a little while. *Hugs* Remember the good things.

Thank you. I remember only the good things. Yeah, you know, I’m so happy that I met him. That I knew such a good guy. But at the same time I know I will never meet such a good guy. And I will never meet such a good friend. That’s why I’m so sad.
Sorry for you friend. Now I know the pain and I know how hard it is. 

7 hours before his funeral. It was 5 in the morning and I was texting my friend that i couldn’t sleep ‘cause I don’t believe in his death. It was a sick joke, I didn’t even cry and I didn’t want to say goodbye. I just thought he was joking. I waited for his message “Hey, babe, I’m alive. I was just kidding”. I needed that message, but no. He wasn’t kidding. He was dead. 
When I saw him in his coffin… Part of me just died with him. You can’t even imagine what is like.. to feel so empty and your body hurts.

Anonymous

My condolences. They say time heals the pain when really you just stop hurting as much. It will always hurt but it fades. Death changes people, just try and use it to make you stronger. They a way for immortality is via memory, so remember them. It will get better. Trust me, I've been there.

Thank you so much. I agree with you, it will always hurt. My aunt said : “as long as you remember him - he is alive for you”. And for me he is alive forever because those beautiful memories of our friendship are always in my heart.
If you’ve been there, I am sorry for your loss. Things will never be the same. 
And.. yes. Death changes people. 

You know.. After losing my friend (who passed away 13 days ago) I feel so guilty… for being alive. Like, why am I alive and he is not? Is it fair? 
It’s been 13 days and I can feel how I changed. I look in the mirror and I don’t see the old version of me, I see a new girl and her new life started 13 days ago. She grew up. She’s changed. She is not the same anymore.

I miss you man, won’t you please come back
'Cause you were loved, didn't you know that
You saved my life I could talk to you.
I would have saved yours if only I knew.

You can’t prepare for a sudden impact. You can’t brace yourself. It just hits you out of nowhere. And suddenly… the life you knew before is over… forever.
When the really terrible things happen… We start begging a god
we don’t believe in… to bring back the little horrors… and take away this.
— Grey’s Anatomy
Sometimes it takes a huge loss to remind you of what you care about the most. Sometimes you find yourself
becoming stronger as a result, wiser, better equipped to deal with the next big disaster that comes along.
— Grey’s Anatomy

I decided to get my first tattoo. It will be a memorial tattoo dedicated to my friend. He died and I can’t live with it. I want to have a little memory on my leg to be with him as long as I’m alive. I will never forget him and this tattoo will be my little reminder.
RIP, I love you.

punkwavebruised:

I hate to miss someone who I can’t get back. Make it stop… Please…

al